A very serious Slowpoke collection

At some point I ended up with a whole crowd of the same big-mouthed Slowpoke, and honestly, I don’t see the problem. Every time I open this page it makes me laugh. One card would make the point. A whole row makes it a personality trait.

There’s a graded Light Slowbro in the middle, a street-scene Slowpoke, a Slowpoke & Psyduck GX, and all those pink faces around them. It feels like a family portrait where nobody was told to pose. I even took a photo holding a fan of the duplicates like I’d won a very specific card game. No regrets.

The best little joke is printed right on the pink card: its Dopey Face Ability says Slowpoke can’t be Confused. Pokémon TCG Live even had to fix a bug where that Ability failed to remove Confusion. Slowpoke wasn’t confused; the game was.

The face of a man with exactly the right number of Slowpokes. For now.