Hey Brother

When I was younger my brother infuriated me more than anything. It was because of two simple facts. One, that we were kids. Siblings fight; it’s a fact of life. The second is more complex. We are mentally opposites. I take after my mother, living based on emotions and feelings. I let intuition lead me. Kevin takes after our father: logical, analytical, and confident.

So when we grew up all I wanted was his approval. I don’t know what he wanted from me. I assume it was for me to leave him alone. That’s not the case though. He wanted me around to help him with his experiments and adventures. I think I just overwhelmed him. It would frustrate him, then we would fight.

I remember people telling me that I would love my brother when we were older. I could not fathom it. As with most ideas you have as a teenager, it was wrong. I don’t know when it clicked in, but slowly Kevin and I started working. I think we both realized that when our skills were put together, we could accomplish great things.

The countless hours of driving between Breckenridge and Fort Worth is where most of our relationship was built. It was time for just talking, and, at the time, listening to nonstop Dave Matthews Band. It was on our trips to Fort Worth that we forged even closer friendships with Alonzo, Colton, Devin, and Seth.

The thing about Kevin is that he is mostly fearless. It’s a trait that a lot of people think they have but don’t possess. I know he has fears; he just has the ability to ignore them when necessary. It makes it so that he can accomplish anything he sets his mind on.

So when he was eighteen he wanted a house. So he set out, found a house, and bought it. With help from his friends and family, he turned it into a lovely home. I think that the house was for freedom and somewhere to have a wife. It was in that house that Kevin truly found himself. Or at least found his set of goals.

His focus shifted from women to service. He started pioneering and putting his talents towards that. He is a restless person though. So after a few years his thirst for adventure took hold. He put his house on the market and sold it. He then planned a trip across the country.

From Texas to California to Oregon, back down to Oklahoma to join us for Beavers Bend, then back home. A solo trip that would take weeks. My only regret is that I didn’t quit my job, drop everything, and join him. When he got back home, he moved to Fort Worth with Seth. Everything went well, but work was sparse.

This was during my year of not working, so I was sleeping on his couch and eating his leftovers. He was supportive of me during my lost year but always goaded me into being more of an adult. I never can tell how he felt during his time in Fort Worth; I know he enjoyed it. I just never think he felt like it’s where he should have been.

So when money got low and roommates were all getting married, he set another plan. To move to Arizona and live with our great grandfather and see how things went there. It was a change, a shake up. The overall feeling I had was abandonment. I did not hide this feeling. My brother was moving far, far away. He took care of me. I was losing my safety net.

It was all for the best though. He found a new place to grow; I learned how to be more self sufficient. After he was there for a few months, he got invited to BSSB. That led to us going to California for a week that I will never forget. Later the next year we all went to Bethel to visit friends. Kevin has been back to Texas many times. To bring me a car, visit friends, and for funerals.

Even with being away, he has never missed anything. He finds ways to be everywhere he needs to be. We had just gotten back from visiting him a few weeks ago. It’s a trip I could write a lot of blogs about and will. Just this week he was invited to Bethel to serve for a month.

There is still not a person on earth that can frustrate me more. Not a person that can cut to the root of my issues. That calls me out on my flaws without hesitation. Thinks that I need to be a better person. That’s the thing about Kevin: he wants you to be the best person you can be. He sees your potential. When you look at him you see a whimsical mess that is achieving everything he sets his mind to. He deeply cares for his family and friends, even if at times it’s hard to see.

I look forward to whatever is in store for Kevin next. I am blessed to be his brother. I will get to come along on his many adventures. I get someone watching out for me and helping me grow. We don’t often say this to each other, but I love my brother. I don’t know who I would be without him.