2016

I keep trying to write a ‘what I want 2016 to be’ blog. I get about two hundred words into it and I just get sad. The things I want and the things that happen always follow such different paths. I start to think of me sitting down the last day of 2016 and reading about all my dreams and wants. All these things that are so attainable, so reasonable. I see myself crying for hours. Nothing was accomplished. Wait. Nothing will be accomplished.

When I think about 2015 I only see it as a year of decline. It started off alright; I had January off for mental health. What did I do during January? Nothing. Then I went on a giant trip to my favorite place in the world with all my friends. That was the highlight of my year. Only because it’s simple and clean. It’s friends, trees, and fires. My brother got engaged, which led to March? or May? Going to Portland for the wedding. Another high point in my year.

I can’t think of any more notable moments that I felt normal. The rest of the year flew past me. I was asleep. Or my brain failed to register it.

This is awful. This is why I don’t write anymore. It’s always awful.